Multitasking Mania

I've always been fairly adept at multitasking—from engaging in dual activities like cooking while talking on the phone to juggling the larger overlapping and continuous responsibilities of life (career, home & family, and personal commitments).  As one with a short attention span, I’ve found stimulation in these varied involvements. That is, until recently.

Naturally curious, I went online to dictionary.com to see what it had to say about multitasking.  There I found an expanded "computing dictionary" definition, as it was the computer industry that first coined the term.  (It's not surprising that we Americans borrowed it to describe human behavior since we often expect overly productive, machine-like output from ourselves and others).

Among other things, it said:  "A multitasking operating system should provide some degree of protection of one task from another to prevent tasks from interacting in unexpected ways such as accidentally modifying the contents of each other's memory areas."  Lately my “memory areas” have been “accidentally modified” as my multitasking has bordered on the ridiculous.

In an earlier post I wrote about returning to teaching after a six year break (and a 15-month hiatus from the work world).  When I last taught, I was younger (read:  more energetic), single and I wasn't also working as a freelance writer/columnist as I am now.  

Most weeks I'm barely a step ahead of my students as I prep for two different courses; I'm not turning out as many articles or columns as I'd hoped; and my blog has been merely a nagging afterthought. Why?  My health has sent me signals to slow down.

In the month since I returned to work, I've undergone a sleep study and discovered I have a mild case of sleep apnea; seen a sports medicine doctor for chronic neck and shoulder pain who ordered first x-rays and then an MRI to  diagnose two bulging discs in my neck; started on a course of physical therapy several times a week to remedy the problem; and made numerous trips between the eye doctor and the optical place trying to get my middle aged eyes into prescription glasses that work at near, mid and far distances (I know it's asking a lot, but...).  Then there are the daily commitments to husband and home, extended family and friends, and the organizations to which I belong.

Not long ago a friend asked me, "Do you think you're doing too much?" Although her delivery was polite, the implication was "DUH!" In my usual, I-Can-Handle-It manner I said, "No.  I don't think so” (‘I don't think’ being the operative phrase). Because the aforementioned health issues have been impairing my life, I needed to take action.

Still, my friend's question struck a chord that resonated with me.  I realized that I've been trying to heal myself all at once while keeping up an unreasonable pace of productivity with the other areas of my life, and it's been exhausting.  

At my next physical therapy appointment, I heard myself say to the therapist:  "I'm feeling overwhelmed.  I think I need to cut back to twice a week."  Since then, I've been re-evaluating my current obligations, health and otherwise, and focusing on the proverbial "First Things First," trusting that what needs to get done will get done.

It hasn't taken long for me to see that my bouncing from project to project, appointment to appointment, task to task--much like a pinball in a machine—has finally caught up to me and has me now metaphorically lying prone and calling out (if only to myself) "I've fallen and I can't get up."

Obviously, multitasking has value and purpose when not lived as a way of life.  We all must at least occasionally juggle our obligations and divide our attention, but the question is clear:  what is it that is really worth juggling?  I’m in the process of evaluating just that as I modify some of my commitments and let others go.

To borrow another computing term, maybe I'll try the batch system for awhile: finish one task before beginning the next one.

What I Did During My Summer Vacation

A friend emailed me last week asking "What happened to your blog? Did I miss something?" I told her that life had happened and she'd missed a lot, but that I'd been thinking about it and would post something in the next week. So Patti, this one's for you (and my 6 other followers).

When I started the blog back in March I had planned to write two posts a week. At the time, recently renewed in my commitment to writing and just coming out of the fog from an unexpected job loss, I had all kinds of topics that I wanted to write about and plenty of time to do it. As spring wore on, one post a week seemed more manageable than two and by early May I thought two posts a month were better than four. Shortly after, when I was unexpectedly met with one family crisis after another, those two posts a month were the first to go.

In May our cat had emergency surgery to clean up an abscess, the apparent result of a cat bite. While I was running through the house trying to keep him from leaping onto table tops (the vet admonished jumping was prohibited), or knocking himself unconscious as he head-butted his cone-collar into furniture and walls, we had a couple of human crises: My 82 year old mother fell in a doctor's office and broke her foot while balancing on the other foot in an attempt to put on her shoe, and two days later another family member flew to L.A. to check into rehab.

For the next six weeks, I became a part-time caregiver for my mother, who was confined to a wheelchair for three of those weeks because crutches presented a further danger. Not a person of patience to begin with, it was an exercise in humility and an opportunity to repeatedly practice unhurried acceptance. Things previously taken for granted--pulling a plate out of the cupboard, washing her hair, going to the bathroom--all had to be re-thought and new temporary strategies devised so she could manage when I wasn't there to assist her. When she moved from wheelchair to walker for the final three weeks in the cast, once again new methods of navigation and adaptation were required for both of us.

Shortly after she got her cast off at the end of June, I came down with what I thought was a severe chest cold. After a week with no improvement, the onset of laryngitis and a mild form of pink eye (because it takes a few attempts to get my attention), I went to our family doctor who told me in his thick Indian accent, "You have a full blown bronchial infection." Fourteen days of antibiotics, a moratorium on my usual cycling and gym routines, and a self-imposed house quarantine only slowly relieved my symptoms. It would be another four weeks before I really started to feel better again.

Before I knew it, August arrived with its hellish heat. My sister and her family, who had been making box and furniture drops throughout the summer, now rolled into town to stay after finally selling their tiny, over-priced tract home in the Bay Area. My mother, although regaining her mobility and autonomy, was still experiencing pain and my husband celebrated a milestone birthday, which brought family members in from out of town. There were now new distractions with added family members and always more chores around the house.

By this time I had two writing related projects, for which the seeds had been planted in the spring, now beginning to bear fruit: a writing gig for a regional magazine and a writing program for incarcerated women. At the same time I was revising my resume and searching for teaching jobs.

And writing. Last month, I submitted an essay to a national magazine and entered one of my blog entries in another journal's "Best of the Blogs" contest. In the months since starting the blog, I formed a critique group with another writer and am making final revisions to a poem I'll soon be sending to still other journals. I've had the opportunity to join and serve in a local writer's group and to read my writing in the community.

Importantly, as I've begun to submit my essays, I've learned that publication of writing on a blog is considered by many magazines and journals work "previously published." It doesn't seem to matter if the readership is all of 7 people and not the Huffington Post.

Since my writing has evolved beyond that which I initially conceived, I'm having to revisit this blog's form and purpose. I plan to continue posting on a semi-regular basis my insight and oh-so scintillating observations on life lessons learned, but there probably won't be many more posts like Midlife Midriff's or Slumber Partings.

Still, my loyal friends and readers, I hope you'll hang in there with me. I thank you for your readership and encouragement. For the "hey, what's up with the blog?" nudges. For the gentle reminder that the next post is only a login away.